I Hear Voices

To the tune of “Blame It On The Bossa Nova”: Blame it on the Dental Fillings

And now for something lighter, because boy, do we need it.

Every so often I hear voices. Seriously. And no, it’s not something mental (though, being a writer that does arouse a certain amount of suspicion). Actually, it’s something physical. I kid you not. I have bad teeth. As a result of a wealth of cavities and root canals and repair work done thereof, the upshot is that many of my teeth have metal fillings. As it turns out the combination of mouth moisture, metal fillings, and when night sky atmospheric conditions properly align, my jaws become a low-level antenna. This can mean that as I am about to go to sleep, I hear voices. Sometimes I can make out a word here and there, but most often not—at best I am only able to identify the sounds as words in a conversation.

One day I told my dentist of my condition. After a pause, he confirmed that, yes, while not common, it was something that was possible. He also told me that I was the first one of his patients to inform him of that.